Jesus saves, Juicy loves, and dumb ass tattoos

Always knew “Jesus Saves,” but didn’t know “Juicy Loves.”

Hell, I don’t even know who Juicy is.

I saw a girl walking out of work the other day with a big, black handbag and the phrase scrawled on the side. 

I’d have asked, but I’m normally too shy. Besides, it was a big bag. No telling how much mace and brass knuckles she had inside. Confuse me for a stalker once, shame on you …

The purse reminded me of all those Asian kids in – you know, Asia (hence the Asian kids) – wearing T-shirts with English phrases that made no sense. They’d say things like, “My eraser dazzles peace fascinating.”

This wouldn’t be complete without some photos to prove my point. I suppose we could just Bing it, but honestly, does anyone do that? That just sounds like another goofy phrase that doesn’t make sense. These were Googled.





Suppose we can’t blame the Japanese and Korean kids for not knowing their English. For a couple years I walked around with a custom-made jacket from Korea and thought it had “Gary” stitched on the front in Korean letters. That was until some Korean guy kept calling me, “Cary." I thought he had a speech impediment.

We’re just as bad in America. Gotta laugh at those chuckleheads who get Chinese symbols tattooed above their butt crack or on their neck, just because some sweaty, hairy, smelly guy at a tattoo parlor tells them it means “Peace,” or “Happiness,” when it could mean “Dumb ass with a tattoo they think means something else but really doesn’t.”

Seriously, what happens if you are a lovely woman with a very tasteful tramp stamp done in Chinese symbols that you think means something else but actually says, "Crack Whore"? Is there a way to politely bring that up in conversation?

Word to the wise: If you’re not Chinese or you don’t speak Chinese or most of your inner circle of friends fascination with China begins and ends with take-out sweet and sour chicken, then quit tattooing Chinese symbols on your ass!
It’s only a matter of time before this takes off back in Asia, and crazy Japanese kids start getting American symbols and letters tattooed on their necks and asses:

Ito-san: “Fujita-san! That is a nice symbol you have tattooed, what is it?”
Fujita-san: “Ah, it is the English letter “S,” Ito-san! It means, ‘My eraser dazzles peace fascinating!’”

Ito-san: “That is fascinating, Fujita-san! How do you pronounce this in English?”

Fujita-san: “It is pronounced, ‘Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.’

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